Final Thought

A big thank you to all of the participants and fans. It was a great tournament and I hope we see you again next year.

Now get back to work. Please.

Who's The Big Winner?

Shelley Campbell walked out of Centre Court $66 wealthier by owning the winning combination of Toss It-over-Junkiebone.

Congratulations, Shelley.

Somebody please escort Shelley to her car tonight.

Biggest Crowd Outburst Of The Day

When Dougie took a rifle shot in the pills. No joke.

Zing!

Everything was magnified today. That was the heaviest hit in the tournament, bar none.

Celebrity Sighting: Dovi Anderson

Holy cats! Jonny Tal and Dovi were both on hand to pass the torch.

Great to see you, Dovi. When are you coming back to the real studio?

End Of The Tout

Resident Gimp Kane Brassington avoided surgery today (seriously - they were planning to insert a plate into his leg), but was still unable to come to work, which is a shame, because I saw a lot of people out there clutching a lot of singles finding nobody to gamble with.

Final total: $12

Good enough for a matinee and some popcorn.

Three cheers for a full and speedy recovery for Kane.

Unprecedented Turnout

Special thanks to everyone who showed up to Championship Day. We made a rough count and estimated 50-60 people in attendance. That may not seem like a huge number, but there's one thing you must remember: There was no booze served at this event.

Unbelievable!!

Today's Action: Day 14 Results!

Game 1:

Toss It (Jean/Mike B) vs. Junkiebone (Doug/Joel)

What a great day for pong!

The sun was out, the crowd was in full voice, and the competitors were walking the razor's edge. This was the moment. This would decide the champion. Would we have a tight game? Would we have one game or two? Would age win over beauty? Would the boys beat the girl? Would Joel or Jean have their name inscribed on the trophy twice?

If I told you that I had no idea what to write about this game, you'd have to believe me. I'm stumped! It was that good. Words are quite inadequate to describe the action.

Let's start here: this was, by far, the most exciting game of the tournament. I might also go so far as to say that it was the most exciting game of any tournament. No easy points. At least half of the points were won off slams. Nearly every rally was 5 or 6 returns long. All the players were hustling around the court. The entire playing field was in action. The crowd was going ballistic. The biggest lead, if memory serves, was about three, but evaporated quickly enough. No clear advantage for either team. Neither team looking weaker than the other. Every point hotly contested. Neither team giving an inch.

The previous paragraph is a complete grammatical abortion, I know, but eloquence, if I ever had any, has abandoned me like my youthful good looks and my first wife.

Finally...finally...after what felt like a million heart-renching volleys, we got to deuce. Deuce!! In the championship pair! At this point, the crowd was like an over-stimulated mob. I glanced over at Ralves and Steve G and saw something that looked a little like this:



I think you know what I mean.

So, yeah, deuce. We'd only seen it once before in the tournament and it was nearly too much to bear. This, though...this was most definitely too much.

Not just one deuce.

Not two.

Not three.

Not four. Holy cat's pajamas!! Half the crowd felt like they were undergoing Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture! Adam York started dividing down the middle like a single-celled organism. I nearly puked all over Steven Q.

Five deuces!! Five! I finally did puke on Steven Q.

Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!

Toss It over Junkiebone
27-25

The Pong Gods were smiling on the fans today (except, of course, for Steven Q - sorry), because we would be treated to...

Game 2:

endurance |enˈd(y)oŏrəns|

noun

the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way : she was close to the limit of her endurance.
• the capacity of something to last or to withstand wear and tear.

Endurance.

Yes, folks, endurance. It makes me sad to say, but endurance is the bugaboo of the elderly and the province of the young. Just as the older folks in the crowd lost a touch of gusto during the second game, so did Junkiebone. Toss It took the lead on the second service set and never relinquished it or gave any amount of hope to their opponents. After the game, I overheard Joel confide to Doug that after Game #1 he was wiped out. No shame there.

Toss It over Junkiebone
21-11

Let's put a little more shine on Toss It's victory:

- Seven games in four consecutive days.
- Seven consecutive games played. Toss It was a part of every game played since Wednesday. No days or games off.
- Seven straight victories.
- Seven straight elimination game victories. Had they lost any of them, they would have been out of the tournament, including Game #1 today.

Wow.

Bravo.

Things Jonny Tal Wants You To Know

I've just been informed by Jonny Tal that Jonny Tal is not nervous and that Jonny Tal was not admitting yesterday that Jonny Tal is expecting to choke in Game 1 today. On the contrary, Jonny Tal says that Jonny Tal is expecting to win the tournament today...

Wait a second. This happened last year. Jonny Tal is not in the championship pair this year.

My bad.

How's The Championship Pair Looking?

A little something like this:



Titans collide!!

I wouldn't miss this one if I were you.

Junkiebone vs. Toss It!

4:35!